The Dawn (2006)

Perhaps the best thing that can be said about The Dawn is that it resisted the urge to call itself The Blair Witch Projects. The story involves an “urban” (read: black) college professor (Omar Jermaine) bringing a group of black and Latino students to the woods to “experience the world before Christianity.” Apparently, “the world before Christianity” revolved around a lot of ad-libbed, weed-induced banter.

It’s truly amazing how slow this movie is; it should be called a “stillie”. Even the “scary” scenes are slow, as the potential victims sit around talking, smoking, taking a stroll, eating a balanced breakfast, practically begging to be killed. They eventually are, but the killing doesn’t start until an hour into this sub-90-minute snore-fest, and practically all of it takes place off screen. Off screen!

What is an interesting premise is just that: a premise. It’s never expounded in the least. Don’t let the cover art fool you; there are no demons, ghosts, zombies, etc. Just some punk kids. Stupid, boring, stupid, stupid punk kids. While most of the cast is full of mumbly non-actors, heroine Carmen (Alessandra Ramos) is a one-woman orgy of overacting — screaming, crying and sniveling to such an extent that it becomes the most enjoyable aspect of this bland heap.

Anyone seen a horror movie around here?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Anyone?
ANYONE???
Oh, here it is!………..Er, never mind.

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