Saturday, July 13, 2024

Tag: worst

Z. Winston Brown strikez again. The director who unleashed the plaguez known az Vampiyaz and Zombiez returnz with the "z"-grade Bloodz vs. Wolvez. Saying that this is the best of the three films is an insult to the word "best." It's basically an urban bastardization of Underworld, pitting an underprivileged...
Boys of the City movie poster
Boy, this ranks up there with Curse of the Voodoo in the "Most Likely to Be Boycotted by Al Sharpton" category. Lone black East Side Kid Scruno (Ernest "Sunshine Sammy" Morrison) is the butt of so many racial jokes, it's almost fascinating -- like a time capsule of how...
Chaos horror movie
If a movie could be a hate crime, Chaos is it. It's like Birth of a Nation without the artistic merit. It was originally slated as a remake of Wes Craven's seminal Last House on the Left, but pompous writer/director David DeFalco felt that his film was original enough...
Chloe, Love Is Calling You movie poster
Some movies are so racially offensive, you have to just laugh them off as outdated artifacts and enjoy them as the campy, fetid turd-fests they are. Enter Chloe. While it's been packaged as the "bonus" film on the DVD release of The Devil's Daughter, Chloe is actually much more...
Curse of the Voodoo horror movie poster
Wow. Could this be any more offensive? It opens documentary-style with a voiceover (and a montage of booga-booga tribesmen and wild animals devouring each other) : "Africa: A country that for centuries was hidden from civilized man...Africa: where primitive people still practice evil religions which weave a dark...
The Dawn horror movie
Perhaps the best thing that can be said about The Dawn is that it resisted the urge to call itself The Blair Witch Projects. The story involves an "urban" (read: black) college professor (Omar Jermaine) bringing a group of black and Latino students to the woods to "experience the...
Master P's Don't Be Scared horror movie
Master P is a business man. I realize that. He's never been accused of artistic integrity. But Don't Be Scared (phonetically, Don't Be Scurred) may be an all-time low. I hope that he saw it as strictly a money-making venture to capitalize on the whole slasher craze, because if...
Dracula 3000 movie poster
Coolio. Tiny Lister. Casper Van Dien. Erika Eleniak. I haven't seen this many B-grade actors since Circus of the Stars. And the sad thing is, this movie is beneath even them. In one of the biggest casting stretches since Tara Reid played an anthropologist in Alone in the Dark,...
Exorcist II: The Heretic horror movie poster
The magical land of Africa once again draws in more white people than Narnia and Middle Earth combined. Most of this film takes place in the United States four years after Regan's (Linda Blair) cock-filled dialogue in the first Exorcist, but there are also extended flashbacks to the adventures...
Female Slaves Revenge movie poster
Female Slaves Revenge is one of those stunningly terrible movies that you almost admire for its steadfast disregard for entertainment value, technical competency, aesthetic beauty, artistic merit, common sense and good taste. Most striking, though, is the fact that, while the plot is ostensibly a topical (albeit exploitive) exploration...