Devon's Ghost: Legend of the Bloody Boy (2005)

An otherwise inept horror film, Devon's Ghost is noteworthy as one of the rare non-"urban" slashers to star a black woman as the "final girl". The gal in question is Karan Ashley, who also co-wrote, produced, and edited the film, which goes a long way to explaining how she got the part. Those of you young or mentally challenged enough to have watched the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on TV in the mid-'90s may remember her as the Yellow Ranger, and although Devon's Ghost was filmed a full 10 years (and about 20 pounds) later, she's still playing a teenager. (Thankfully, though, she's not clad in yellow Lycra.) She stars as Symphony, a 30 -- er, 18-year-old cheerleader with ties to the local legend of Devon, who supposedly died as a child at the hands of his parents, only to have the parents die mysteriously the following year. Now, for no good reason other than "it's time to make a movie", Devon returns with a chip on his shoulder and some sort of saw-bat thingee in his hands. If the thought of a baseball player stalking you doesn't sound scary...you're right. It's not. Beyond the flawed -- albeit memorable -- concept, the acting, writing, and direction are all quite lame, spawning more questions than answers: Why does he try to pucnh people if he's holding a bat? Why do the victims stand around screaming instead of running away? Why does he walk like he has a wedgie? And why does everyone know kung-fu?!? I guess Power Rangers will be Power Rangers.

"Stupid wall...won't move!"	Patty nailed the Depends commercial.
"I like to hit balls."	"I like to hit balls."
Why does this scene even exist?	If only the entire movie were shot from this angle.