Bones (2001)

No, it’s not gay porn, but thanks for asking. Bones is a horror film starring the one and only Snoop Dogg. True, any film starring Snoop Dogg could legitimately be deemed a horror film, but this one actually has, like, ghosts and stuff. Snoop is Jimmy Bones, a ’70s-era pimp-type guy who is for some reason beloved by the community — and by Pam Grier in particular. When he refuses an offer to poison his neighborhood with crack (pot, gambling and hookers apparently being OK), he’s killed and buried, only to arise three decades later, hungry for revenge. And Twizzlers.

It isn’t really clear why Bones decides to come back at this time; maybe he’s awakened by the loud music in the night club that his old house has become. Who knows. The picture isn’t particularly well-constructed, but Ernest Dickerson’s direction is stylish and the performances are solid, making it very watchable — even though overall, Bones lacks many genuine thrills. Or brains. The weakest part of the film is, unfortunately, the most important: Bones himself. That is, Snoop as Bones. Snoop just isn’t a good actor, even for a rapper. And until the last few minutes of the movie, he’s makeup-less, meaning he’s just, well, Snoop. He’s too iconic a figure to try to play another (wannabe) iconic figure.

Funny, I thought it’d be bigger…
Paul dreamt of gang signs.
“That ugly, stupid, leather-wearing, jive turkey fool will never find me! HAHAHAHAHHAAA!”
Bell and Biv searched desperately for DeVoe.
Sure, she’s cute and all, but the breath…


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