The Bone Snatcher (2003)

The wilds of Africa strike back! Yet again, a group of white people — along with the token black local — are terrorized by native wildlife, with Marlin Perkins nowhere in sight. Unlike the typical jungle setting, though, The Bone Snatcher takes place in the desert, providing a unique, scenic setting…for death. Bwuhaahahaaa!!!

Anyway, what anybody really cares about in this type of movie is how cool the monster is, and here it’s actually well-conceived and executed: millions of killer ant thingees that eat the meat off your bones, then without so much as a eulogy, they use your bones to walk around — presumably making it easier to drive and, like, get into clubs and stuff. The black folk in the film are mostly of marginal importance — not even worth dying — except for the lone member of the rescue team, Titus (Patrick Shai), who does get the distinction of having a death scene. Hooray! With the words “bone” and “snatch” in the title, though, I was expecting a lot more porn.

“Hey hey, keep your eyes above the neck, mister.”
“Dude, this will totally mess you up.”
“Oh, hey…I was just, er, looking for my…um…Woof?”


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