Hood of the Living Dead (2005)

There’s actually a good idea for a horror movie in here somewhere; where better to find a steady supply of corpses ripe for zombification than in the ‘hood? The ‘hood in question here is in Oakland. A scientist (Carl Washington, who hasn’t let an inability to act stop him from appearing in over 20 direct-to-video movies) working on cell regeneration tries to revive his younger brother Jermaine (Brandon Daniels), who was gunned down by some local drug dealers. Of course, this results in the titular living dead, who quickly spread out through the ghetto….or at least through six or seven people. This should be called Block of the Living Dead.

Aside from the ‘hood setting, the filmmakers’ only attempt at originality is the fact that you have to shoot these zombies in the heart, not the head. I bet this was because they couldn’t afford the special effects for a headshot. The makeup looks more like store-bought Halloween blood than proper zombie getups.

Plus, the acting is ridiculous. Seriously, can’t the directors of these movies just go to a local theater or arts school and get some people who can act like they can act? There seem to be excruciating pauses between every line of dialogue, as if the director is whispering it to the actors from off-screen. And the writing is no better. This is actually one of the better scenes:

Hood #1: “Lyin’ ass bitch!”

Hood #2: “Man, gimme that fuckin’ bat!”

Hood #3: “Step the fuck back, fool! You don’t wanna see me!”

Hood #2: “Why the fuck you gotta pull out a gun, punk?”

Hood # 3: “Fool, you shouldn’t pull out a bat! You should let your girl over there get his ass beat like a man.”

Hood #2: “Fuck that shit!”

Hood #1: “Alright, I’ll see you motherfuckers around. I ain’t finished with you yet. You best believe you’ll be seein’ me around, punk.”

Hood #4: “Man, all y’all better get up outta here before y’all get whupped.”

Hood #1: “Punk ass motherfucker. Let’s go.”

Hood #4: “Kick rocks, nigga, before you get stomped.”

Hood #1: “Mark-ass bitches.”

[They tongue-kiss.]

Aaaaand scene.

Overall, if you were to compare Hood of the Living Dead to Zombiez (and God help you if you ever have to do so), Hood at least has some level of ambition and a more-or-less coherent story, but less of Jenicia Garcia’s ass.

Do zombies smile?
Andre 3000, nooooo!!!


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