I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

Apparently, what you did last summer was make a crappy movie. This is the type of sequel that’s so bad, it diminishes the memory of the otherwise enjoyable original (see also Resident Evil: Apocalypse). This pointless, unimaginative rehash (which even revisits the overhead shot of Jennifer Love Hewitt yelling at the hidden killer, “What are you waiting for?!” and such nonsense) takes place in the fictional locale of Tower Bay, Bahamas.

With the Caribbean setting, my black body count antennae perked up, and with good reason: four go down for the count (five if you count Jack Black), most notably Mekhi “Don’t Call Me Omar Epps” Phifer and poor veteran actor Bill “Ignored Voice of Reason” Cobbs, who deserves much better than this. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is just a weak shell of a story that’s held together more precariously than J.Lo Hewitt’s shirt. Frankly, that shirt is the only thing — or two things — worth watching here, and the producers know it (see the practically 3-D movie poster). Even without her, though, this movie would still have plenty of boobs.

Even serial killers gotta get their groove on. Even
Empty hands? Check. Non-threatening smile? Check. Life insurance? Check. Hello, LAPD!
“Don’t look now, but there seems to be a colored following us.”
“How’s it hangin’? A little to the left.”
“HA! I hadn’t heard that Isaac from the Love Boat crack before… Putz.”
Barely dressed to kill.


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