Friday, November 22, 2019

Tag: rappers

Deep Blue Sea horror movie poster
I don't know if there's anyone who would describe anything Renny Harlin's ever done as "clever" -- except maybe "Clever how he tanked Geena Davis's career" -- but darnit if Deep Blue Sea doesn't display a glimmer of cleverness amidst its arm-gnawing mayhem. There's a nudge-and-wink awareness of the...
Master P's Don't Be Scared horror movie
Master P is a business man. I realize that. He's never been accused of artistic integrity. But Don't Be Scared (phonetically, Don't Be Scurred) may be an all-time low. I hope that he saw it as strictly a money-making venture to capitalize on the whole slasher craze, because if...
Dracula 3000 movie poster
Coolio. Tiny Lister. Casper Van Dien. Erika Eleniak. I haven't seen this many B-grade actors since Circus of the Stars. And the sad thing is, this movie is beneath even them. In one of the biggest casting stretches since Tara Reid played an anthropologist in Alone in the Dark,...
Dream Home horror movie
I give Dream Home credit for being a mostly African-American horror movie without revolving around a stereotypically "urban" storyline involving gangstas, or even a stereotypically "rural" storyline involving voodoo. I also give it credit for being only 70 minutes long. Beyond that, it's garbage. I suppose the cover art...
John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars movie poster
Ignoring the loud flopping sound of the previous year's two Mars films -- Red Planet and (ugh) Mission to Mars -- Ghosts of Mars chooses to boldly go where several have gone before. What distinguishes this one from the other flicks in the Martian Movie Renaissance of 2000-2001, though,...
Guardian Mario Van Peebles movie
Although Guardian is more of a supernatural thriller (and really, what movie starring Mario Van Peebles isn't a thriller?) than a horror movie, you could make a valid claim that Van Peebles's hair is pretty damn scary. (Black men should not have bangs.) It shouldn't be confused with the '90s...
Halloween Resurrection horror movie poster
Most people will consider Resurrection noteworthy because it's the film in which one of the original "final girls," Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), "finally" dies, but I think it's just as noteworthy as the film in which the series finally "gets jiggy with it." For the longest time, Michael...
Da Hip Hop Witch movie
As a movie reviewer, a lot of times it's more fun to watch a bad movie than a good one because they're easier to write about and are more susceptible to wacky critical zingers ("Fantastic Four? More like Not-So-Fantastic Bore. Burn!"), but there's nothing enjoyable about Da Hip Hop...
Holla If You Hear Me horror movie
I feel obliged to review this movie less because it's urban horror than in order to clarify that I had nothing to do with it whatsoever. You see, the director has the same name as me (Mark Harris), and as much as I admire his parents for their good...
Hood Rat horror movie poster
A cross between Willard and The Super, Hood Rat finds slum lord Bernard Souilliez (Taurean Blacque) being sentenced to live for 30 days in his own housing project, Forest Tower, only to find it overrun with man-eating rats. If the plot sounds ridiculous, it is, but to give the...