Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Like Freddy vs. Jason, Alien vs. Predator cashed in on two diminished franchises that, as individual sequels, would probably tank. (Personally, I’d like to pitch Ghoulies vs. Air Bud.) Unlike FVJ, AVP has a strong female lead who doesn’t look like her brain will seep from her ears if she opens a book. Oh, and she happens to be black.

Sanaa Lathan foregoes love and basketball for aliens, playing Antarctic guide Alexa Woods, who leads a team to the Great White South to investigate a heat source that turns out to be…oh, who cares? There’s some bad aliens and some not-quite-as-bad aliens (i.e., Predators) to be dealt with. If you expect this film to live up to the best of both series, you’ll be sadly disappointed, but it holds up well against, say, the last two Alien films.

Alien vs. Predator is one of the select, refreshing few horror films to star a black woman, alongside the likes of Demon Knight, Sugar Hill, Abby and (eesh) Breeders. While sadly, Kevin Peter Hall couldn’t reprise his Predator role (being dead and all), black men gain representation in the form of poor Colin Salmon, who, after being chopped into yummy, bite-sized morsels in Resident Evil, again gets director Paul Anderson’s stamp of disapproval here. Oh well, I guess it’s the sista’s turn in the spotlight. You go, girl!*

*Disclaimer: “Sista” and “You go, girl” here are used in a sarcastic, ironic manner and are in no way an indication of the author’s normal manner of articulation… Bling Bling!

Wait a minute, black people don’t climb glaciers! Nice try, Al-Qaeda!
Krull 2: Coming Summer 2017
“Hi, I’m a prick.”
“C’mon baby, it’ll fall off if I don’t use it…”
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